ODE TO A MARITIME MARMOT

I think it's not a possibility

That a groundhog will be tried for Fraud At Sea.

He'd have to leave his comfy hole

To sail the world from pole to pole.

Appointed skipper of a boat,

He would embezzle while afloat.

Then one day he docks in port

And is served and brought to court.

Yet even with that legal incitement

I doubt that Justice will return indictment.

For when small he stands before the jury,

His twitching ears and face so furry,

Will the jurors gaze upon his dainty paws

And dull his bright eyes with boring laws?

Nay! With adoring smiles they'll forbid to prosecute

A bewhiskered mammal who looks so cute!